


Witch Bitch

by frenchpuppycormier



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Multi, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:00:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25618474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frenchpuppycormier/pseuds/frenchpuppycormier
Summary: Originally on TumblrPrompt request by @ladystoneheartsendsherregards : “Umm…Emma and Regina trying to have some fluffy time alone, but Zelena and Henry constantly play pranks on them? :3″
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Henry Mills & Emma Swan, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan/Wicked Witch of the West | Zelena
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Witch Bitch

“I’ll grab the popcorn, you get the wine,” Emma told Regina, with a soft gruffness in her voice. 

“Red or white?” Regina asked. 

They both stared at each other knowingly for five seconds and say, “Red!” “Red!” simultaneously. 

“Hey, are you getting sick? Your voice sounds a little scratchy,” Regina implied. 

“No, it’s probably just allergies or something,” Emma replied. 

Regina gave her a look. A look that translates to ‘mother knows best’. Regina wasn’t her mom-that would be gross considering they’re dating-but she sure acted like it sometimes. 

“Go take an Allegra.”

“Okay, mom,” Emma huffed. She walked to the kitchen cabinet where all the drugs were kept, reached for the bottle titled Allegra, and opened it up to find.....

“What the hell?” Emma threw the bottle on the ground out of fear, a reaction she knew was probably unattractive. 

“What? What is it?” Regina asked, worried. 

“Go look for yourself,” Emma shivered. 

Regina rolled her eyes, “And they say you’re the Savior.” She walked over to the bottle and picked it up. When she peeked inside, she found it filled with.....

“Worms?! What in the hell is going on?!”

“......”

Regina was still for a bit, darkness swirling in her once sanguine eyes. A little smoke coming out of her ears, and the image would’ve been picture perfect. She paced the kitchen for about ten seconds, when it hit her.

“Zelena....she thinks because it’s close to Halloween that she can scare us,” Regina huffed. 

“That little witch bitch,” Emma growled. 

“Hey! I’m the only one who gets to call her that,” Regina playfully glared. “Besides, I’m about to go roast her myself.”

“Wait!” Emma grabbed Regina’s hand before she went all hocus pocus on Zelena, “What if we just ignore her?”

“What good will that do?”

“One of the best parts about pranking someone, is the reaction of the person you prank. If we ignore her, she’ll more than likely get bored and stop,” Emma smirked. 

“I like how you think,” Regina smiled, then placed a kiss on her lips. “You still need an allergy pill though.” She magicked an allergy pill in her hand and gave it to Emma. They finished making the popcorn and pouring the wine, and made their way over to the couch to watch Practical Magic. 

About halfway through the movie they started hearing strange noises coming from upstairs. Emma thought she heard snickering, and Regina thought she heard something fall. 

“I thought you said Henry was with Snow and David...”

Emma squinted in confusion. “He is. I dropped him off this morning.”

“Something’s not right here. I’m gonna go check it out,” Regina mumbled. 

“Awww. My knight in shining armor,” Emma giggled, then got serious. “Be careful.”

“If anyone should be careful, it’s whoever is up there making those noises. They obviously don’t know how powerful I am.”

“Damn straight,” Emma replied. 

“Why are you so scared, hon?” 

“I’ve seen enough horror movies to know that this doesn’t end well.”

“I’ll be right back,” Regina started walking up the steps. 

“Really? You had to say that?” Emma screeched. 

“Shhhh!” Regina hushed. “I’m fine.”

Regina continued up the flight of stairs, while Emma paced around the room like a fly trapped in a spider web. Five minutes pass and Regina still hasn’t come down; Emma was starting to get worried. 

“Regina?!” Emma yelled. No answer. “Okay. I’m coming up!”

She slowly and quietly started tiptoeing up the stairs when she heard a scream, followed by muffled screams, and then silence. Emma bolted up the stairs as if they were made of lava. 

“Regina!” Emma opened their bedroom door in hopes of finding her. She walks over to the other side of the bed and almost jumps out of her skin. A black cat appears. 

“Shit! Fuck. Where in the hell did you come from?” 

“Meow.”

Emma bends down to pet it and the cat rubs up against her hand and then under her legs. The cat purrs and looks into Emma’s eyes with such focus, almost like.....

“Regina? Is that you?”

“Meow.”

“Oh great....” Emma sighs. “Well, she asked for it.”

“You’re such an ass,” Emma glared. 

“I’m no more an ass than you are,” Zelena smirked, “I just have more fun.”

“Fix her,” Emma points to cat Regina. 

Zelena rolls her eyes, “Fine. You guys are no fun.” With a flick of her wrist she turns Regina back into, well, Regina. 

“Never again,” Regina grimaces, “Cats are disgusting creatures.” 

“They’re fluffy!,” Zelena says, offended. 

“Well if you like them so much, go buy yourself one!” Regina exclaims. 

“Fine, maybe I will,” Zelena starts to walk away, before Emma stops her. 

“Wait. Why did you put the worms in my pill bottle?” Emma asks. “That wasn’t even funny, just pure gross.” 

Zelena cackled so loud, she probably woke the neighbors. “What? Someone put worms in your medication? Oh Lordy, that....is classic.” 

“You mean it wasn’t you?” Regina asked. 

Zelena shook her head. “Oh, I wish it were though. That shite’s funny.”

Emma rolled her eyes and pushed Zelena toward the door, “Okay, off you go.” Once she was out, Emma turned around and looked at Regina. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Regina nodded and they both yelled, “Henry!” 

They hear heavy footsteps upstairs and then suddenly Henry appears at the top. “Hi, moms.” He walks down slowly because he knows he’s in trouble. 

“Having fun?” Regina asks, sarcastically. 

Before he can answer, they hear a loud bang come from upstairs. Emma and Regina look at Henry and Henry looks at them with widened eyes. They freeze.....then stumble into each other, “RUN!”


End file.
